Monday, 14 November 2011

Holly's 100 Word Challenge Entry (Week 9)

I put my hand in the box and felt nothing but air. Nothing but emptiness.

I felt again. Nothing. Just smooth cardboard. I smelt it – but the fumes were like fresh paint and I quickly withdrew.
Panicking, I shook the empty creature hard: something had to be there! It needed to be there... I wanted it to be there.

“I know you’re in here!” I shouted, flipping the box upside down.

“Darling?” I turned round to see my mum, looking confused at my frustrated demeanour.

“What’s in the box?” I screamed.

“What box?”

I turned round...but it had gone.

Please leave Holly a comment by clicking on 'comments' below.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

WOW!Holly this is a fantastic 100WC. Your layout and puncuation is perfect. You built up the tension fantastically making me want to read on.You should be really proud of your work. I hope to see you again on the 100WC.

Sara Green

Caroline Hardman said...

What a powerful piece of writing Holly! You have used a really interesting mix of sentence structures, and built the tension beautifully. Great use of dialogue as well. I agree - you should be really proud of this 100WC!

Jessie said...

I really like how you made it seem like something was in there but there wasn't and that by the end you wanted to keep reading. At the beginning was there anything in the box? I've felt like the charactor in your story where I think something is there and then it seems to disapper. That was a great 100WC!

Jessie said...

I really like how you made it seem like something was in there but there wasn't and that by the end you wanted to keep reading. At the beginning was there anything in the box? I've felt like the charactor in your story where I think something is there and then it seems to disapper. That was a great 100WC!