Monday, 21 November 2011

Samar's 100 Word Challenge Entry (Week 10)

Enjoy Samar's entry:

“Help me!”I cried out.

As I turned around it changed a shape that I had never seen before. A green slimy alien approached me with its dirty fingernails! His gooey body made me feel sick, like I had a tummy bug.

I actually realised he was quite funny. I started to giggle. As soon as I started laughing, he growled even more than he did before.

I suddenly stopped. We just stared at each other. For a minute, I strangely thought he was going to let me go, but I knew that wouldn't happen.

I didn’t know why he chose me.

Please click on 'comments' and leave Samar some praise & constructive criticism.

2 comments:

Clare Powell said...

An interesting 100 WC Samar, well done. You have thought about your word choice carefully and have included a simile in your writing. Try to vary your sentences to reduce the number of times you need to use the word 'I'. I wonder what the alien did with you? Thanks for joining the 100 WC. Clare Powell (Teacher)

Aimee said...

Hi Samar,

You ended your writing with an exciting cliff hanger. I'm so curious to know what happens next! Suspense is a wonderful way to build interest for your readers. I do hope you'll continue this piece into a longer story.

I'm so glad you joined in on this week's 100 Word Challenge. I hope you'll participate again soon!

Mrs. Whitbread
http://kidblog.org/CondorBloggers/
Saskatchewan, Canada